Apple Pie: A Recipe

 Shin's favourite dessert is apple pie, so for Father's Day Kio and I whipped one up for him. This is how it went...

Ingredients

- 4 enormous apples costing about $3 each

- 2 pkgs of pie sheets (Making good pie crust is really hard and store bought is delicious. Nuff said.)

- a spoon or 2 of sugar

- a bit of flour plus a bit more

- some cinnamon (Plus a little extra because Shin likes it.)*

- some nutmeg (But not too much, you don't want it to overpower the cinnamon.)**

- 5 to 10 shakes of vanilla oil

- a splash of vegetable oil

Directions

1. Walk three kilometers to a supermarket that sells apples. 

2. Make sure that it is about 35 degrees outside and that your baby wants to be carried. Oh, don't forget to add 80% humidity into the mix.

 

3. Once you finally arrive at the supermarket change poopy diaper.

4. Feed the baby so that he doesn't dehydrate.

5. Drink a bottle of water so that you don't dehydrate.

6. Purchase apples and pie sheets.

7. Take a taxi home.

8. Put the baby down for a nap. Make sure that he refuses to sleep in his crib and once again put him in the baby carrier.

9. Preheat oven to whatever temperature you find when you google "apple pie baking temp".

10. Turn the air conditioner down 2 or 3 degrees, after all you are wearing a baby with the oven on in 35 degree weather.

11. Drink some more water.

12. Peel apples and put in a large bowl.

13. Add flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla to peeled apples.

*Realize that you only have about half the amount of cinnamon that you usually use left in the shaker. Do not go back out into the heat to buy more.

**Ignore above ingredient list and make up for lack of cinnamon with extra nutmeg.

14. Mix well.

15. Make note to self that next time you bake while wearing a baby carrier, make sure to cover it with a towel first.

16. Set apple mixture aside.

18. Grease pie plate with oil being careful not to get any on the baby carrier.

17. Cover baby carrier with a towel.

18. Dust the counter top with flour and roll out pie sheets.

19. Pick dough out of the baby's hair (next time you can cover him as well as the carrier). It is next to impossible to do this without waking the baby up. If you somehow manage to do so, skip steps 20 and 22.

20. Change and feed the baby, place him on his play mat. 

21. Begin assembling the pie.

22. Stop to clean baby vomit off of the play mat.

23. Finish assembling the pie and mark it with a 'D' for daddy.

24. Bake the pie until slightly burnt.

25. Serve along with the rest of the Father's Day feast.

I'm sure that there are easier recipes for apple pie out there, but none of them are made with this much love.

Awwww.