みかん is our cat. And she is 'special'.
About five years ago I was in the market for a cat and found her on the Internet. She belonged to a family that had gotten her at the same time as their son was born. The family had hoped that the cat and baby would grow up together. Unfortunately (for them), the baby was terribly allergic and she had to go.
This is where I came into the picture.
Arrangements were made for the whens and the wheres of the hand-off, and on a brisk December morning a friend and I set out to get her.
As the family was quite desperate to find みかん a new home, I think they may have exaggerated a tad when they told me about her.
Exaggeration #1: She loves people, especially children.
みかん in no way whatsoever likes children. Whenever friends bring their kids to our house she hides in the closet until they have not only left the building, but are out of the neighborhood and well on their way home. As for big people, that is very much hit and miss. She either loves you or heads to the closet. There is no method to feline madness.
Just ask my mom.
Last year my mom stayed with us for about a week. I think みかん graced us with her presence sometime around the time my mom was getting ready to leave...only to crawl into my sister's lap. A good impression was not made.
Exaggeration #2: みかん never, ever scratches.
Actually, this is more of a full on, slap you in the face lie.
She scratches everything: wallpaper, wood, curtains, the sofa and best of all me. If you have been following along in our little baby making saga, you may remember that I have a thing for white leather sofas. In fact, I used to have one (paired beautifully with my fake teak furniture).
Until the cat destroyed it.
Actually, strike that. Until the cat destroyed THEM. Nail holes up and down the arms of the sofa and teeth marks (revealing the true nature of my "teak" coffee table), is what this non-scratching cat gifted me with during our first year together.
On any given day if you take a quick look at my hands and forearms, you can also find evidence of our cat that "never scratches". These little welts of love, are usually the result of me not wanting to get out of bed at 4 a.m. to feed her royal highness.
Eventually, she gets fed. Every night.
Exaggeration #3: みかん is never noisy.
Liars!
In the summer most people leave their windows open. A fairly normal practice unless you are the owner of one howling cat. I have trained myself, yes myself not the cat, to approach the apartment with ninja silence. If みかん hears my voice, keys or shoes she begins howling in a voice loud enough to set off the neighbor's dogs, make babies cry, and wake the dead.
Trust me, nobody needs to be welcomed home by that symphony.
Aside from these few unforeseen character flaws, みかん settled right in and now I don't know how we'd live without her.
Better rested I suppose.
Anyway, as charming as 'The History of Me and My Cat' must be, it's about time that I get to my point.
みかん and The Bean
みかん clearly loves me more than Shin. This is evident in the welcome home howling (which Shin never gets), the way she wedges herself between us if Shin gets too close on the sofa, and her attacks of bulimia.
Right, I forgot to mention the bulimia.
There are times when a social engagement has kept me out late, maybe all night, and on the rare occasion for the weekend. Let me assure you, this hasn't happened recently. Upon returning home the first thing I do is feed the cat. Then, she promptly eats and vomits up said food. みかん adjusts the volume and location of said vomit in order to correspond with the length of my absence. A weekend away will guarantee Exorcist-style vomit on my pillow. This also never happens to Shin.
Isn't it nice to be loved?
Getting back to my point, what is going to happen when The Bean arrives?! How will we keep the cat out of the crib? What if みかん and The Bean both require an early morning feeding at the same time? How many rolls of paper towel does one need to stock up on, in order to clean up cat and baby vomit? Did I mention the jealousy when people spend too much time in my general vicinity? And of course, みかん doesn't do children.
I have no clue about how this is going to turn out. Part of me thinks that there has to be some sort of bonding that goes on between pets and babies. The other part of me has nightmares of cribs filled with cat vomit.
I suppose only time will tell.
About five years ago I was in the market for a cat and found her on the Internet. She belonged to a family that had gotten her at the same time as their son was born. The family had hoped that the cat and baby would grow up together. Unfortunately (for them), the baby was terribly allergic and she had to go.
This is where I came into the picture.
Arrangements were made for the whens and the wheres of the hand-off, and on a brisk December morning a friend and I set out to get her.
As the family was quite desperate to find みかん a new home, I think they may have exaggerated a tad when they told me about her.
Exaggeration #1: She loves people, especially children.
みかん in no way whatsoever likes children. Whenever friends bring their kids to our house she hides in the closet until they have not only left the building, but are out of the neighborhood and well on their way home. As for big people, that is very much hit and miss. She either loves you or heads to the closet. There is no method to feline madness.
Just ask my mom.
Last year my mom stayed with us for about a week. I think みかん graced us with her presence sometime around the time my mom was getting ready to leave...only to crawl into my sister's lap. A good impression was not made.
Exaggeration #2: みかん never, ever scratches.
Actually, this is more of a full on, slap you in the face lie.
She scratches everything: wallpaper, wood, curtains, the sofa and best of all me. If you have been following along in our little baby making saga, you may remember that I have a thing for white leather sofas. In fact, I used to have one (paired beautifully with my fake teak furniture).
Until the cat destroyed it.
Actually, strike that. Until the cat destroyed THEM. Nail holes up and down the arms of the sofa and teeth marks (revealing the true nature of my "teak" coffee table), is what this non-scratching cat gifted me with during our first year together.
On any given day if you take a quick look at my hands and forearms, you can also find evidence of our cat that "never scratches". These little welts of love, are usually the result of me not wanting to get out of bed at 4 a.m. to feed her royal highness.
Eventually, she gets fed. Every night.
Exaggeration #3: みかん is never noisy.
Liars!
In the summer most people leave their windows open. A fairly normal practice unless you are the owner of one howling cat. I have trained myself, yes myself not the cat, to approach the apartment with ninja silence. If みかん hears my voice, keys or shoes she begins howling in a voice loud enough to set off the neighbor's dogs, make babies cry, and wake the dead.
Trust me, nobody needs to be welcomed home by that symphony.
Aside from these few unforeseen character flaws, みかん settled right in and now I don't know how we'd live without her.
Better rested I suppose.
Anyway, as charming as 'The History of Me and My Cat' must be, it's about time that I get to my point.
みかん and The Bean
みかん clearly loves me more than Shin. This is evident in the welcome home howling (which Shin never gets), the way she wedges herself between us if Shin gets too close on the sofa, and her attacks of bulimia.
Right, I forgot to mention the bulimia.
There are times when a social engagement has kept me out late, maybe all night, and on the rare occasion for the weekend. Let me assure you, this hasn't happened recently. Upon returning home the first thing I do is feed the cat. Then, she promptly eats and vomits up said food. みかん adjusts the volume and location of said vomit in order to correspond with the length of my absence. A weekend away will guarantee Exorcist-style vomit on my pillow. This also never happens to Shin.
Isn't it nice to be loved?
Getting back to my point, what is going to happen when The Bean arrives?! How will we keep the cat out of the crib? What if みかん and The Bean both require an early morning feeding at the same time? How many rolls of paper towel does one need to stock up on, in order to clean up cat and baby vomit? Did I mention the jealousy when people spend too much time in my general vicinity? And of course, みかん doesn't do children.
I have no clue about how this is going to turn out. Part of me thinks that there has to be some sort of bonding that goes on between pets and babies. The other part of me has nightmares of cribs filled with cat vomit.
I suppose only time will tell.
Sounds to me like you've had perfect training for a newborn! Sam was much the same (minus the scratching) and until fairly recently had as much disdain for his father! My guess is you'll end up with cribs full of vomit and a very jealous cat.
ReplyDeleteHappy that I could get some training in before The Bean arrives.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the fact that baby vomit will not smell nearly as bad as cat vomit.