A Wee Story.

Once upon a time there was a handsome tavern owner and a beautiful schoolmarm. They courted, fell in love, got married and were blessed with an adorable baby boy.

Life was clean and orderly, just as the beautiful schoolmarm preferred, until one day the unthinkable happened.

On that fateful day, the handsome tavern owner, beautiful schoolmarm, their adorable baby boy and (all the way from the wilds of Canadia) elegant Auntie set off in their carriage to take in the sights.

The tavern owner, exhausted from entertaining his unruly patrons, passed the reins of their carriage to his beautiful wife. He quickly drifted off to sleep alongside his adorable baby boy.

The elegant Auntie and beautiful schoolmarm passed the time taking in the landscape and trading stories from their busy lives.

Some time had passed and the travelers realized that they were in need of some nourishment - especially the adorable baby boy.

The elegant Auntie not speaking the language of that foreign land did her best in ordering the latest trend in caffeinated beverages, while the beautiful schoolmarm satisfied her adorable son's need for milk. The elegant Auntie returned with her beverage, unfortunately void of caffeine, and the beautiful schoolmarm laughed at her rather INelegant efforts to communicate.

The elegant Auntie settled herself back into the carriage and tried to enjoy her drink. The beautiful schoolmarm had just one more task to complete before they returned to their journey.

Perhaps it was karma lashing out at the beautiful schoolmarm for laughing at the elegant Auntie. Or perhaps it could be blamed on the nature of little boys. Whatever the reason, as the beautiful schoolmarm attempted to change her adorable baby boy's soiled nappy she was met with a fountain of, for lack of a better word, wee.

Caught by surprise, the beautiful schoolmarm did not react in time. Her luscious locks, powder white skin, plump lips and proud nose were drenched in the foul yellow water.

The elegant Auntie howled most inelegantly with laughter (for hours upon end).

The adorable baby boy squealed with delight.

The handsome tavern owner feigned sleep - a small grin fixed upon his lips.

And the beautiful schoolmarm...well she totally lost her shit and may never again be the same.

The preceding story was based on actual events. The characters and situation have been romanticized in order to avoid subjecting the schoolmarm to any further trauma.